Well we've been in Arizona now for a year and 3 months and we have another change coming. You may remember that about 7 months ago I posted that I had finally accepted a job at a credit union where I would be going "back to my roots". I was so excited about the change and happy to be going back to working in a branch. I'd spent 3 years in a branch previously before moving to a corporate department in the credit union and loved the interaction with my co-workers and especially the members. Some of my best friends to this day came from my job in Utah; as I've said before, it was very hard to leave that behind. The new job though, was a rude awakening. At first I'd convinced myself it was because of my prior experience and high expectations, but it became apparent pretty quickly as I saw more turnover there than I did in 5 years at my previous job that this was not where I wanted to be. I started all over looking for another job but I knew from before that Arizona makes that process long and difficult, and this time it was even harder. I began to feel trapped and unhappy and worst of all, that I lacked responsibility and resiliency. I've never quit a job because I couldn't handle it. I've never let myself give up on something that I started. But I was so defeated and I let myself down; I let Jake down. Jake and I discussed my job often and almost every day I came home with another crazy story that seemed so ridiculous we couldn't believe it was real life (I wish I were exaggerating). We discussed the possibility of me putting in my two weeks notice many times and Jake was very supportive. He wanted me to be happy, and that was so important to me, but I still felt guilty and told myself to just suck it up and hold out until I found a job or until we moved again. But after months of faking it and having to tell our family "sorry we can't make it to Lake Powell, Tracy has to work; sorry we can't make it home for Christmas, Tracy has to work; sorry we can't use our football tickets, Tracy has to work", and after getting yet another e-mail from management stating that a month was "blacked out" because one of them was going on vacation, I decided I'd had enough. I had dedicated myself to that job just as I do to every job I've ever had and I hadn't been appreciated. No one I worked with was being appreciated. All of my co-workers were amazing, they were so smart and so kind and so good at their jobs. But they weren't being appreciated. We were all being taken advantage of, we were all being manipulated. It just wasn't worth it; there are so many things that are more important in life and everyone deserves to be happy and do something they enjoy. Sometimes we get stuck in jobs that weigh us down and we end up staying for far longer than we should because we have no other choice, but fortunately for me, Jake gave me a choice. I feel so lucky that he stood beside me and supported my decision to leave even though I had not been successful in finding another job. How do I know I did the right thing? As soon as my co-workers started to find out I was leaving I heard things like "Good for you; Are you so excited; Take me with you; I wish it was me; I hope I'm not too far behind you". I don't regret the past 7 months, I learned a lot about myself and about what I'm capable of. I learned to appreciate my dedication to doing what is right, having integrity, and believing in good customer service. I know I made a difference in a lot of the lives of people that I had the privilege of meeting and helping. I also worked with some really great people who accepted me and befriended me and I hope to keep in contact with them.
After working my last day, we headed to Utah for a trip that was supposed to happen at Christmas to see our family. We stayed at my mom's house Wednesday night and were able to spend her birthday with her on Thursday. Friday morning my brother and nephew surprised my mom with a visit and we got to play for a little while with them before driving up north to see Jake's family and my dad. We stayed up there until Saturday night pretty late and headed back to my mom's to stay the night. Sunday morning we slept in a bit, had a slow lazy morning, ate breakfast, and then headed back home and got back around 7:30. It feels a bit like a whirlwind of a trip but it was much needed and much appreciated. It's amazing how blessed we are and it's always nice to be reminded of that. We're looking forward to more flexibility and more time to spend with each other and family in 2014!
There's nothing better than family :)
