That word is kind of scary, isn't it? No one wants to be sitting in their doctor's office and hear the word cancer. It was all I could think about in December 2016 as I progressively got more and more sick and visited doctor after doctor. Luckily, as we all remember, I didn't have cancer then. I was diagnosed with Crohn's Disease. You can read about that here if you missed it.
Flash forward to December 2017, and I decided it was time to get a mole removed that I've had my entire life. We maxed out our insurance in January with my surgery so this wouldn't cost us anything. That's literally the only reason I decided to have it removed. I wasn't worried it was cancer, I'd been to dermatologists before and they'd all just said to keep an eye on it. I didn't necessarily notice it changing, but that's hard to tell when it's been there your whole life and you see it everyday. I did know that it was deep and would require more than just your standard mole removal process. I took my friend Ricki with me for support. She held my hand as they gave me 10 numbing shots all around it and watched as they literally dug it out of me about two cm deep. I left with a dozen stitches and a little limp because it's on the right side of my bum.
Eight days later, on the 28th of December, I was walking out the door to meet some friends for lunch when my phone rang. It was my dermatologist, and he wanted to talk to me about the results of my biopsy. He casually said, "it's melanoma". Then he went on about how I'd need to meet with a surgeon because the standard procedure was to go back in and remove more around the area to make sure it was all gone. They also might need to remove some lymph nodes. I hung up the phone and kept driving. I thought, I don't know much about skin cancer, but I do know there are "good" kinds and "bad" kinds. I guess because he just told me this over the phone that this is one of the "good" kinds. So I called my mom and told her (I actually called Jake and told him first). She asked me how I was taking it so well. I told her I wasn't worried because the doctor didn't sound worried. I went to lunch with my friends, and when I got home, I googled melanoma. Here's a tip guys, if you're ever diagnosed with melanoma, DON'T GOOGLE IT!! The first thing that came up said, "the most serious type of skin cancer". I should have stopped there but no.. I clicked on the link to the american cancer society page. I read that melanoma is the deadliest type of skin cancer and that it kills more people each year than any other type of skin cancer combined. Well, that's when I lost it. I was sitting in my bedroom on the floor and I just started sobbing uncontrollably. After about 10 minutes, I composed myself and said that was going to be the only time I cried about it. I text a few close friends to let them know what was going to happen, and I went about the rest of my day.
I met with the surgeon, who is a melanoma specialist, in January. It was exactly one year to the date of my last surgery. She told me the cancer was a stage IIA, which just means it was two centimeters deep and had ulcerations. The incision I had from the initial removal was about two inches long, and she told me that during the surgery, they would expand that incision to about six inches and they would take everything out down to the muscle. They also wanted to test my lymph nodes to see if the cancer had spread. We scheduled the surgery for the following week.
The day before surgery, I had to go to the hospital for lymph node mapping. Basically, what they needed to do was inject me with some radioactive blue dye right around my incision area and it would travel to, and settle in, the closest lymph nodes to where the cancer was. After three hours, I went back and they did an x-ray type scan and took pictures of where the dye settled. They put three x's on my skin over the lymph nodes for the doctor. The next day, during the surgery, the doctor opened up my incision, took everything out to the muscle, then also removed two lymph nodes (in my groin area) that had the radioactive dye in them.
It took just over a week to get the results back. It was probably the most stressful week and a half of my life. Not to mention, I was in the recovery process and could barely move. I was sitting in bed when I got the call from my doctor's office telling me that the results came back clear. There was no more cancer in what they took out, and the lymph nodes were normal. Now all I have to do is go to a dermatologist every four months for skin checks for the next two years (I'll rotate every four months between my dermatologist and my surgeon) then every six months for three years, and once a year for life after that.
In the midst of all of this, I had to stop my infusions for my Crohn's disease. I had an infusion in November, and in January when I went back for my next one, I told my doctor I'd been diagnosed with melanoma. They decided then and there that I needed to stop treatments until everything was taken care of and I'd had the surgery. They also told me I'd be switching drugs from Remicade to Entyvio because Remicade can increase your chances of getting skin cancer. Obviously we don't want that! So, just two weeks ago, I had my first infusion on Entyvio, and they only take 30 minutes instead of three and a half hours. So far it's been amazing! I had my second one two days ago, and my third will be four weeks from now. Then I'll go back to every eight weeks.
Anyway, to say this year has been crazy so far is kind of an understatement. My six inch incision is finally starting to close up (yay) and I'm starting to feel normal again. I'm lucky, you guys. Seriously lucky. Sure, we maxed out our insurance again this year (it resets in January) and the plans we had for that money will need to wait, but I am LUCKY! And blessed. I've had support beyond belief, and we'd planned two really awesome vacations for February and the end of this month (both of which were paid for before the end of last year thank goodness) so we get to relax now. We get to go back to life as we know it. There are so many people who can't say that. I've always been careful about how much time I spend in the sun. Mostly because I had a few really terrible sunburns as a teenager and I would never want to re-live that again. I used a tanning bed (I know.. it was a phase) for literally eight months of my entire life. My surgeon and every other doctor I dealt with were baffled at my diagnosis of such a serious cancer. You never know what life is going to bring you. I couldn't be more grateful for everyone who took care of me and held my hand through this. I only cried that one time, and that's because everyone around me kept me strong. I feel like I've moved into the rambling stage of this post so I'll wrap it up. Wear sunscreen, DON'T use tanning beds, don't pray for a sunburn so you'll get a tan, live your life well and love the people around you with all you have everyday!
